Special Lady

I had one of those moments where I saw an item and thought “So-and-so MUST have that!” In fact, nearly every time I walk by those vendors down by the mall selling lame DC souvenir t-shirts I have this feeling regarding a certain special person in my life. I’d say but then it would ruin the surprise, in case that reader actually visits this page before receiving the gift. And so here it is:

Sometimes things are so ugly they’re good. This isn’t really one of those. Man, it’s just ugly! Impressive how ugly it is. He’ll love it!

This one actually looks kinda nice. Clean and simple. It might actually get worn. Especially because the recipient lives in another country where people might just think you’re cool for wearing a McCain shirt (cool cuz you obviously don’t really like him). If I wore this in DC I’d actually be a little worried someone might hit me, or at least hate me. Oh – I’m smiling because my wife just told me she cannot stand to look at me.

The caper is this baby. This one was pinned up against the back wall of the vendor’s truck, on display. I asked, “Special Lady – large please.” He said they haven’t actually had Special Lady in over 3 years. It’s just sat there. I asked how much (in my head my limit was $30 – I had to have it). He said he’s been selling these shirts for 25 years and doesn’t do business like that – selling dirty shirts. I kept a straight face and nearly flipped when he said I could just have it for free. It’s absurdly wide (someone suggested for large breasted women, hence the “special”?). It still has a yellow tinge around the logo, where it was exposed to street air for years on that back wall. I’d love to have a Special Lady (the shirt, not a real lady) of my own but I’ll love giving this one away even more. Enjoy, Buttface.

Tagged as: dc, keep off the grass, mall, mccain, special lady, t-shirt, tie dye, washington