Ever started parallel parking only to have your stick get jammed and refuse to go into reverse? Sucks. Fortunately there was an extra large spot that could be coasted into. Oh, except “park” is on the other side of “reverse” and if you can’t go beyond reverse and into park you can’t take the keys out of the ignition. And therefore you can’t lock the car. And therefore you can’t go home to urinate without risking getting your car stolen (which would be difficult because it would require a second person to push the car in reverse out of the parking spot while the other mans the wheel, but still).

The good thing is that the roof had been popping off for about 6 months now but we’ve been too lazy to take it in to get fixed. This way we didn’t even have to drive it in to the shop!

At this point I’d still recommend the little bugger but that feeling may change if new problems arise after the warranty has ended.

So, I’ve already discussed how you can obtain deep and meaningful friendships by purchasing exciting objects like a smartcar (probably works or, used to work, with iPhones too). Well, I was kinda joking. Then on my ride to work yesterday I found myself, in my smartcar, behind another smartcar. Cute! Then he rolled his top down and waved though the roof, I waved back. Cute! Then he pulled into the left lane, slowed down, I passed. He gave thumbs up, I returned. Still kinda cute! Then we both pulled into the same place of work – I went to my parking lot and he to his.

Then when I left work I found this note on my car – my first friend request! Note this necessitated him coming to a different parking lot to check all 7 levels for my car.

My first personal mixed feelings about whether to friend someone or not!

The best thing about buying a bright yellow smartcar is that the number of people that want to be your friends goes up, like, 1000%. This couple walked by, smiled, and then returned 5min later with their camera in hand. We quickly bonded and built a meaningful relationship based on them wanting to be seen with our car.

The nice thing about a car is that you can go places. For example, at 12:00pm on Saturday my smart co-owner proposed we drive up to New York. I took 3 ibuprofen, had 2 double espressos and a cold shower and by 12:30pm I was in a state of mind where I could say “Yes – let’s do it!”. And off we went.

When she asked if it was an “indoor” bathroom I said yes. But she meant one of those bathrooms that you enter from the indoors, which it wasn’t. It’s true, some things you enter from the outdoors aren’t as nice (bathrooms, motel rooms, crackhouses).

When we arrived in NYC I saw this bumper sticker that says if you shoot a cop you get a $10 000 reward. That’s decent money. Funny thing is that is was located on a police vehicle, of all things.

It’s just as easy to park a smart car in NYC as it is in Washington. You can tell this because this photo has a view from our final destination, and the car is only a stone’s throw away. It was actually more fun to watch people interact with the car from afar than it was to explore NYC (see those 2 people?).

There’s a real problem with white negros in NYC.

I just don’t get this. Is the solution to get drugged and march for peace? Then get back to the office and do some planning on how to achieve world peace? Or, maybe wait for the drugs to wear off and then do the planning part? Or, on a different level: “Maybe if we combine “drugs” with “peace” they’ll legalize the drugs! (or at least let us take them for the march!)”

Near the end of the trip we found ourselves in Soho or Chinatown or something. I don’t know except there were friggin bag and watch sellers everywhere verbally accosting me and trying to sell me crap. After I shot the cop and collected my reward I bought one item from each of them just to shut them up.

To make this trip a palindrome we stopped off at the Starbucks shown earlier to get a coffee for the road (to really make it a palindrome I also followed the coffee with a redbull). The amazing thing about this Starbucks is the manager’s name. I’ve often thought about great or odd names I could make a reality when I have my firstborn (usually involves making the first name the same as the last, or making the first name some inanimate object like “table”). But I never would have thought of this cool name: Spacious Starkes.

(Oh, yeah, the smartcart held up. Did you think it couldn’t take the highway?)

Check out this cute little number (the one with doors). We’ve had it for 7 days now.

1) The novelty of having people smile, laugh (with/at) and discuss your car has worn off. We might as well be driving a Lamborghini given how much attention it gets. Seriously. The other cute little number in this picture puts it like this: “It’s like we’re Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. For like 6 months, until these things become more common, we’re basically celebrities!”

2) The novelty of always being able to park in the most difficult area of Washington, DC (Adams Morgan) has NOT worn off. I feel like the smartest guy around every time I squeeze into a spot no one else can fit into, often the same spot I left hours earlier.